Trying To Understand God

I'm not sure how long it has been since I read the words from a post in an online discussion group and yet the words, "I fully understand God" still come to my thinking whenI find myself in a reflective state. I still like to ask myself questions I am not sure have answers. Does God want us to understand Him? Is it even possible to understand God?

In my ability to reason, I am not one to believe God wants us to understand Him or expects us to understand. I currently have come to believe the plan of God is perfect in design. I do not believe we have the option of failing because failure is not part of the design. I often make seemingly crazy statements because these are the thoughts and ideas having deceived me for so long and caused me great aggravation. Having taught band for 34 years now, I believe I should have witnessed failure by now in learning.

Our society and educational system appear controlled by defining failure instead of correctly defining success. The same seems true in the church teaching of my youth. All focus was placed on being right before God so, "if I have been found faithful, I will be with God forever." I think I have mentioned before that our success and hearing the words, "well done" will not be the result of our abilities but rather the work of Jesus. I do not believe we have to fully understand the mind of God to fully understand what he wants from us. Simply stated, God desires a demonstration of His love in our lives. Having mentioned not seeing any failure while teaching band in 34 years, I have seen many who would be considered failures and a handful who never chose to put forth any effort. This also seems consistent with what I see in the religious world; no failure but only those with no attempts.

I mentioned my belief of God desiring a demonstration of His love in us and I do not believe He has a list of requirements laid out for us in the bible by which we will be saved when the task is complete. This demonstration of His love I believe to be an open ended opportunity to do good and put others before ourselves. I also believe we are given what I would call a miraculous number of opportunities to demonstrate love. It might be as simple as seeing a piece of paper on the floor and rather than leave it for someone else we choose to do a good thing and pick it up.

We have probably all seen the person we think of as having no goodness in their lives. Every choice seems to be one of selfishness and completely devoid of characteristics we might define as being good. When I think of God's perfect plan, I know a complete understanding of how things work out is not something I can probably ever comprehend and yet the major focus of my faith in God is of His plan being perfect and working out in the end regardless of my ability to comprehend. When I consider these ideas, I always think back to the first chapter in Romans and am reminded that all that may be known about God is clearly evident by his creation so that we are without excuse. Regardless of what one might call it, I am convinced everyone born has access to the will of God and makes the choice in their individual life as to whether they will pursue goodness (God) or a life contrary to God. My faith in the perfection of God and His plan does not allow for failure but only a choice of answering God with , "yes, I choose to be like you."

How many mistakes can I make is a foolish question when God's plan is not limited to the number of times I need forgiveness but rather His choice to forgive and my choice in my heart to be like Him. Being human leaves me with a myriad of opportunities for failure and yet the desire of my heart is to be like Him.

In band, I focus on what can be better and as each student accomplishes even the smallest of tasks, I am joyful for their success. While my mind might desire flawless precision and intonation, I am aware that some will get closer than others and none will achieve the perfection I desire. Every child I've seen choose to play has gotten better and it is my choice to view even the slightest improvement as success. I also believe God views us in much the same way. We are not all going to approach godliness at the same rate when choosing to do good and so making comparisons between ourselves and the "goodness" of another simply allows us to define failure in our lives. When thinking of the educational system, I have to laugh when I see proof demanded of a student mastering certain concepts.

We never master anything and mastering the life of a Christian is also beyond our abilities. We simply live the life of a Christian because we want to be like the Master. If Christianity were a game, we can't even produce a DRAW! The best thing about God's game is Him allowing you to pick the winning side. There is room for all!